No, not a long-winded name for an episode of ‘Last of the Summer Wine’, but FCUM Radio’s visit to North Ferriby last night for a hard fought and well deserved 2-0 victory. Transport was provided via a kindly offered lift from George Kitman VC, DFC, MC, MUFC, FCUM and bar.. and good job really as it turned out, considering what happened earlier in the day.
The day had not started well for me… as I had contrived to perform a comedy slip at the top of, and subsequently fell down the stairs at home at 7 o’clock that morning whilst still half asleep. I did however, manage to bounce off every single stair on the way down, and I now have bruises the size of plates, and a crick in my neck which means I can’t turn to look to my right properly, and hence couldn’t drive myself.
The trip over to the east coast was spent listening to how George had been shot at, blown up, and generally done his country service everywhere from Belfast to Botswana. He also seemed very keen to inform everyone that he has in fact been internally infected by ‘Alien’ style parasite chest bursters whilst on holiday in Oz, and that he was off to the tropical disease hospital to have them removed and incinerated the very next day.
“Do you wanna feel me infected lump ?”
“Errmm.. no ta George…”, by the time we were passing Drax Power station on the M62, I was contemplating climbing out of the window whilst we were doing 70, before I too succumbed to some dreaded alien infestation…
The programme broadcast was hampered by the fact that Ferriby could offer us no power, or cover, for all our usual kit and also there was absolutely no 3G coverage in the vicinity… as it turned out even the 2g coverage was at best weak. Also Mr Producer is off working in foreign parts this week, which basically meant he was hob-nobbing at the ballet or opera somewhere around Europe (how the other half lives eh ?), and that myself and Swampy made up the entire Radio crew for the evening.
Therefore we came up with Cunning Back Up Plan Number B. This involves using a headset and mic, plugged into a Bluetooth enabled mini mixer, which we then sync’ed with a suitable mobile phone (my Nokia N95 as it happens). This then relayed the signal (via the weak 2g O2 signal) back to Mike at BoxTV in Manchester who stayed in work late to stream it out via the usual platforms onto the web.
Pre-preparation included me going to buy-up a supply of long-life 9v batteries for all the kit, and making sure a total of FOUR mobile phones (my N95, the text phone, the back up text phone, and another phone of mine to use as a direct link (off air) to BoxTV were fully charged.
Once we’d arrived at Church Rd it was time to test all the kit, batteries, and comms links.. before clambering up a ladder onto the clubhouse roof, which afforded a spectacular view of the Humber Bridge at night, and a great view of the action on the pitch, but had the down side of facing the prevailing wind directly off the North Sea and Humber Estuary. Freezing is NOT the word… perishing cold might be… or maybe even wearing your frozen taters for earings may be closer to the mark. With Swampy providing most of the match commentary, I ensured that the comms links kept working, communicated back to HQ in the Republik, manned the text phones, got the brews, chipped in with the odd word or two, and did everything else.
Church Rd is a charming little ground, very reminiscent of our NWCL days (in fact a number of NWCL grounds have better facilites than Ferriby’s). And the people who run the club couldn’t have been more warm, welcoming, and helpful if they tried. Especially their Chairman.
Full time and a 2-0 win for FC.. courtesy of a Carlos Roca penalty after a Ferriby player was sent off for handling a shot on the line, and a Si Carden tap-in (player of the season for me so far). Great performances from Danny Warrender (as usual), Rob Nugent, Tunji Moses, and MOTM (for me anyway) Carlos Roca.
We left the ground shortly after 10pm for home, a brew, and straight to bed for 1am.
P.S. Don’t forget all contributions gratefully received into the FCUM Radio coffers after the last couple of aways.. covers the cost of O2 pay-as-you-go mobile 3g cards (as used at Matlock), and of course our supply of 9v batterries and my mobile phone bill !
(All I have to do now is get the Executive Producer to explain the FCUM Radio expenses claim procedure to me… easier said than done..)